The Blue Steel Scenario
The Situation
It’s time to gather around and take a cheesy family holiday photo. No one really wants to squish together on the couch and fake smile for 10 minutes, but the grandparents are insisting and you can’t let them down. The problem is you are an awkward human being.
How to Survive
Hair
Check for flyaways or stray pieces of food. If born with cowlick, pat that sucker down.
Check for flyaways or stray pieces of food. If born with cowlick, pat that sucker down.
Eyebrows
Raise slightly to appear excited at prospect of taking photo. Not too high though or you will come off serial-killer-esque.
Raise slightly to appear excited at prospect of taking photo. Not too high though or you will come off serial-killer-esque.
Teeth
Are there leftover brussel sprouts wedged between your front teeth? No? Are you sure?
Are there leftover brussel sprouts wedged between your front teeth? No? Are you sure?
Poses to avoid at all costs:
1
The duck face
[duhk]-[feys] noun, singular
A photographic pose trend, consisting of an exaggerated pouting expression in which the lips are thrust outwards, often with simultaneously sucked cheeks. Well known on profile pictures in social networks.
[duhk]-[feys] noun, singular
A photographic pose trend, consisting of an exaggerated pouting expression in which the lips are thrust outwards, often with simultaneously sucked cheeks. Well known on profile pictures in social networks.
This is not a bathroom mirror selfie. This is a cherished memory in the making.
2
The ‘Blue Steel’
[bloo]-[steel] noun, singular
Made famous by the 2001 movie Zoolander, “Blue Steel" is the signature modeling pose of male model Derek Zoolander.
[bloo]-[steel] noun, singular
Made famous by the 2001 movie Zoolander, “Blue Steel" is the signature modeling pose of male model Derek Zoolander.
Even if you have won Male Model of the Year three years in a row, this is not the time for this pose.
3
Bunny ears
[buhn-ee]-[eers] noun, plural
The act of putting two fingers up behind someone's head while a picture is being taken to mimic rabbit ears.
[buhn-ee]-[eers] noun, plural
The act of putting two fingers up behind someone's head while a picture is being taken to mimic rabbit ears.
4
Awkward T-Rex arms
[awk-werd]-[tee-reks]-[ahrms] noun, plural
The act of lifting arm and barely resting around another’s shoulder in an effort to seem friendly but not overbearing.
[awk-werd]-[tee-reks]-[ahrms] noun, plural
The act of lifting arm and barely resting around another’s shoulder in an effort to seem friendly but not overbearing.
Keep. At. Your. Sides.
